Wow! Yesterday was one hell of a strange day. It started out as a normal day: job searching, Star Wars blah blah. I thought that I would take a trip into town and browse the shops and bars for any jobs that might be available, just in case they are not listed online. Genius idea right?
So, after around 4/5 hours of walking around two towns, I got a call from Krispy Kreme, a friend of mine who I have become quite close to in the last few months, asking if I wanted to come out for a bit.
After I had accepted the offer, I made for the interchange. Then the weird turn came. It's not an unusual sight to see a homeless man picking up cigarette ends off the floor in Sheffield, or a drunk man talking to himself. But this was something different! This guy definitely looked homeless. He was wearing grey suit trousers, a green jumper, a black winter coat and fisherman's hat. I failed to mention shoes because he wasn't wearing any, not even socks!
This is the weird bit (I felt like I had to describe the man for you). Every time he moved, he made robot noises. Every time he bent down to pick something off of the floor, he made robot noises. To amuse himself, he would occasionally drop the collection of cigarette onto the floor, only to laugh hysterically and then make robot noises as he picked them back up. He also tried talking to me. Usually, I humour them and give them a couple of quid to buy something nice. Like special brew. I couldn't understand him. Not one word. This was because he wasn't speaking any language humans can speak. He was speaking robot. Imagine R2-D2. Got it? Now imagine R2-D2 stoned and you have this guy.
Anyway, I did the good thing and called 101. The local United match was about to start in an hour or so, and this would only lead to trouble if this guy was to talk to them. Go me!
I finally boarded the bus to meet Krispy Kreme. Halfway there, the bus was stopped and raided by police. Just my luck!
"Tickets and passes please!". Yes officer! Disaster. I could not find my ticket. I know that I paid, and I don't usually hold onto my ticket. Luckily for me, it was in my shopping bag! Phew. After 20 minutes of everybody being searched, we finally set off. The internal temperature of the bus must have increased 10 fold, and not because one of the officers was quite delicious.
I finally meet Krispy Kreme! I honestly thought this moment would not happen. After a quick catch up, we grab a taxi up to the favourite pub! A cool refreshing pint of pepsi and Krispy Kreme. What could get better? Only the news that Mistress Q is coming to pay a visit. Mistress Q is a bloke. Funny really.
The night would have gone smoothly if Krispy Kreme hadn't told us that Fidget was coming up. Now, Fidget is this guy who is stupidly annoying. So annoying, that no one likes him apart from his best friend, but we are too nice to tell him to go play on the motorway. He also looks like Fidget from Basil: The Great Mouse Detective. This is when Mistress Q and I had a brilliant idea. Why don't we pretend to be a gay couple? The excitement!
Fidget had already fallen for this once when Krispy Kreme and another friend, The Dragonborn, decided to become a lesbian couple. Surely he cannot fall for the same trick twice?
Yes. Hook, line and sinker! Mistress Q pulled off being a gay man surprisingly easy. He was making all the moves! Can't say I didn't enjoy the experience, it was nice! Then it clicked in Fidget's mind. Mistress Q had turned to the Dark Side. We played on this all night, up until the point that Fidget left the car outside his house!
And this concludes my account of the strangest day. Everything I have said here is true. I'm still trying to believe the day myself!
Until next time,
J.
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